Num 119

i have tons of things to do and yet when i c this shitty work, i become so effing pissed off!!!!!

thank god it's the last sem.....

grrrrrrrrrrrr............

Num 118

once again, the feeling of being such a failure arises again tonight.

another good friend of mine is on to something great soon.

y am i so incompetent??

*sigh*

being in a typical chinese family, my mum would definitely compare me to these ppl if she knew.
and being me, i would be so dissapointed in myself for not making my parents proud.
it's hard to live up to their expectations. and my own expectations as well.

=(

Num 117

i'm feeling inferior and at a very low point of my life right now...=(

former schoolmates of mine who had 90% graduated are all going places. as in they are getting their dream jobs, working outstations, interning outstations, first class degrees from international universities, going to graduate school etc. i'm really happy for them =) and it shows that SGGS produces good quality students that will go on in life to become successful ppl.

but somehow i'm stuck here. unsure of what lies ahead of me. not motivated, and very sure that i won't be getting these chances like them.

Num 116

now this is really weird........

i was abt to go to sleep, said good nite to sheng and closed my eyes.....

till the image of my aunty and ke-pa pop into my head out of a sudden....i have no idea y but i started missing them so much i cried so much i never cried like this since the day she died.

aunty and ke-pa were like my parents. they were my babysitters who took care of me till i was 9. i was so attached to them when i was younger i wasn't even close to my own parents. by as i grew up and moved back into my parent's hse, i started to grew apart from them. n when they moved to kl to live with their working daughter, we didn't seem to keep in contact much anymore. i remembered promising myself that i would give them some monthly allowance one day when i start working.....bad news came and aunty was diagnosed with colon cancer. she eventually passed away. i can still remember seeing her thin fragile body when we visited her in kl abt a few months before she died. 4 months after she passed on, ke-pa passed away as well....

i was crying so badly just now i couldn't stand it but to get out of bed wanting to blog abt my sudden emo-ness.....i checked back my previous blog under friendster to read abt the post i wrote on the day i received the news. and was shocked....aunty died on the 6th of July 2006... today is 6th of July 2010. exactly 4 years later....i can't believe the coincidence here....was it pure coincidence? or did some bizarre and weird force of nature happened here??

really, i am not creating any story or anything....it really happened right before i went to sleep. all of sudden the thought of them came out and i started missing them so much.....i cried buckets of tears..am still crying now =(

4 years is a long time, and lots had happened. i'm abt to graduate in abt 3 months....i thought it was stress causing all my sudden outburst just now...but apparently not. i know both of them are in a happy place....i just wished i had the chance to repay them and take care of them. although they are not related by blood to me and my sis, we owe them tons for loving us like their own daughters.

this post is for my aunty's 4th year death anniversary. will always love and remember both u and ke-pa forever.

Num 115

as usual when i'm in an irritated mood, i'll blog..............

the one and only way to vent out....go elsewhere if u don't wanna read this...

i mean who needs a laptop and a netbook at the same time???

apparently his dad bought him a netbook, 2 months after his dad bought him a laptop...which he is slowly paying back every month........i think it's so not necessary and a waste of money....

it's their lives, not mine...what can i do??? i say what i have to say already, and he didn't even try to stop the dad from buying it....

daddy's boy is truly blessed...and spoilt to the max!!!

at this age, he should be buying the dad something and not the other way around...

-fin-

Num 114

i hate blogging except when i feel like expressing something without anyone really understanding what i'm actually talking about....it's a crazy habit of mine coz i really want to keep my thoughts private but can't help but to write it out....

so.................


RANDOM POST ALERT!!!!
...........
.......
....
..
.

it's weird....but i can't help but to feel flattered by it....

it happened last year, and it happened this year....

or maybe i'm just too perasan of myself....

=="

on another note, i saw a rainbow today after an exhausting 7-hour lab session.....made me smile... rainbows have a weird effect on me =)

Number 113

just for laughs...i find this hilarious =D

u have edward there all of a sudden ^^" and i just love the fact that voldemort and snape hv Fb accounts as well....lolz..

harry potter and twilight are the two most anticipated movies this year...so yea....